I’m back again with Love Talks With Mel(this might become a regular thing), I have been getting so much feedback that you guys like the lifestyle/relationship posts that you can relate to, so here is a topic that comes up in my group chats all the time. It is crazy how each of us are so individual yet we have so many parallels in our lives that coincide. I live for discussions with my girlfriends because we all have different approaches and rationals when it comes to the dating sphere yet there are somethings we just all agree on too.
I was dating for almost two years before I met my “the one” so this post is solely based on my experience of the frogs I crossed to get to Prince charming. Disclaimer: I am not a dating expert, do not blame me if you meet the wrong one but saw all the right signs… 🙂
- There Are No Games
In my old relationship there was so much drama, other people involved, doubt, jealousy, third parties that I just got use to it. But when I met D everything fell together so easily, I kept telling myself that it was too good to be true and always expected something to pop up but it never did. I didn’t have to worry about keeping my cool or not being the first to text or making him chase me, it was so clear from the start that we both felt the same way about each other and wanted the same things that all the dating rules flew out the window.
2. There Is No Dead Conversation
My single friends always complain about the lack of “bants” some men have. Listen, what you find entertaining or funny is not everyone’s cup of tea so finding that person that you can talk to for hours without just saying how your day went is one of a kind. And if he makes you laugh, then get down on one knee asap! Life is too short to have mediocre conversations. Talk about conspiracy theories (D loves this one), your dreams, your childhood, your regrets and everything in between and if that conversation has to be forced, then boy bye.
3. He Continuously Makes An Effort
It is typical for a man to make an effort in the dating phase while trying to woo you and then have this take a 360 turn once he knows you are actually interested and like him. However, the right guy continues to show you that affection and makes plans to spend time with you ( ladies remember this has to be reciprocated) if it is 6 months down the line or 6 years.
4.You Can Bring Him Around Your Friends And Family
This is a big one to me. As a person who really values her family and friendships, having someone that fits in with that seamlessly is SO important. Why keep your relationship separate to all the other things that matter in your life? No one is saying you can never have girls night without your partner every again, but knowing that he can hang is key! You both should be a unit together, when you are just with each other or with the other important people in your life. And if he truly cares he will make a huge effort with your family and friends too.
5.You Can Express Your Thoughts Freely
Finally, the right guys will understand that you have your own hobbies/ opinions and loves to hear your side of things without expecting you guys to always agree. You are both a couple but still individuals!! As long as you can have a healthy debate and open conversation about everything, including arguments, and then both learn from it, then you have found a keeper. Someone who respects how you feel, even if they do not feel the same way will always fight your corner. You should never feel like you have to vent to your friends about everything he does wrong, without being able to actually communicate that with him! We are all flawed, the aim is to find someone that knows your flaws and still loves you for them ( but is also wanting to help you improve without changing who you are).
Now I will leave off with one more factor that I didn’t officially list because I have heard various thoughts on this – to me, “the one” also has to be someone you can travel and explore with. Experiences are what truly make us rich, not the material things, and being able to share those experiences with someone and not constantly have arguments or different types of holiday agendas is important – but what do you think? Is that something you would be willing to compromise on if he is perfect in every other way?
(I would love to hear your thoughts below)